Evolving

Be moderate in everything, including moderation.”
~Horace Porter

The July issue of Evolving takes on the sensitive topic of addiction. For me, anything pleasurable has the potential for addiction—whether it’s food, work, sex or physical exercise. There is always the potential to overindulge, taking a pleasant act to one with potentially dire consequences. Even mountain climbing, if taken to the extreme, holds the possibility of addiction. I believe Horace Porter was right and that the key is to try to maintain moderation. Because we truly are a product of our habits.

Then there are the more destructive addictions: alcohol, drugs, cigarettes. This month I share a personal story about one of my daughters. When I decided to print a letter I wrote her last year about her addiction, the staff of Evolving was torn: Is it too personal a story to share? Although it is extremely personal I believe that sharing our stories is part of what empowers us through difficult times. While my daughter was enduring her struggle I read Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction by David Sheff. I was completely moved by his honesty. Then I read his son Nic’s story, Tweak: Growing up on Methamphetamine. I gave both of these books to my daughter, hoping they would touch her as well. And then I wrote the letter to my daughter that is printed in this issue. You can read the July issue of Evolving online.

Fortunately, my daughter is now drug-free. I am sincerely grateful and proud of her courage in allowing me to share her story. There is so much secrecy and shame surrounding addiction—for those in the throes of addiction as well as their loved ones.

Please feel free to share your views on how addiction has affected yours or a loved one’s life.

The year 1994 was a tough one; yet, it was the turning point that led to a glorious conception. I started Evolving Woman magazine in the midst of this tumultuous year.

Really, it all started when my father died in 1990. It was sudden, and I, at 27, for some reason still held the naïve belief that people didn’t die. So it came as an overwhelming, devastating shock. I started seeking for truths. I needed to know there was more than this everyday existence-and that even in this existence-the journey can be glorious. But I didn’t know the answers and I was still searching.

So in 1994 when I started Evolving Woman I was living in a 100-year-old farmhouse. The land was exquisite, but the two-story house was a wreck. There was no central heat, only a wood-burning stove and a wall furnace to keep the two-story home warm. We were on a well-water system and each January the pipes froze. The house was under continual construction and my nerves were frayed.

When I wasn’t at home, I was driving 45 minutes each way to attend the University of Kansas. I had two young daughters, schoolwork, money problems, a turbulent marriage, a chaotic home and little time or piece of mind. I was despondent, to say the least.

I started eating and sleeping more. Most days, I would make it through my classes until lunch, eat, take a nap until 4:00 p.m., eat again, and then spend the evening in a trance in front of the television. Despair hung over me in a thick cloud. I started skipping school-going each day required more energy than I could provide. I spent my days in restaurants, at the park, at the library. I enjoyed these solo sojourns, but felt enormous guilt each day as soon as I got home, knowing I had betrayed myself. Each night I went to bed earlier; each morning I awoke anxious-fearful about the coming day and how I would cope.

My mother, caring savior that she is, saw my despair and offered to pay for a counselor. I started seeing Karen in March 1994. There, several miracles occurred: I was offered quiet acceptance; I found myself; and I found my strength.

I also glimpsed my reality. I realized I was basing my self worth on outside influences and accomplishments. My actions determined my value. For the first time in my life, I started looking inside for answers. Instead of always wondering what others would think, I started asking myself, “What do I want to do right now?” My mantra became:

My Choice - My Life - My Adventure

I faced tough questions. In my search, my journal became a constant companion. I explored the depths of my being. I started reading self-help and spirituality books with a hunger. I found myself scanning these books, seeking out the “meat” of each, and ignoring the filler material. I craved a publication that had these “meaty” portions, with a variety of topics.

Evolving Woman started to form as a seed in my mind. For six years I published Evolving Woman magazine. The readers experienced each step of my journey with me. It was a time of growth, awareness, service, community and enlightenment. It was a small part of my individual journey of evolution.

I released Evolving Woman in 2000. Since then, I have written hundreds of self-help articles, but my passion has been interviewing and telling the stories of others. I’ve interviewed numerous authors as well as brave individuals who have overcome adversity. There is tremendous power in sharing our stories and the stories of others.

Now I am blessed to have this opportunity again with Evolving magazine. My mission remains the same. I am on a journey of growth, seeking joy and expression. My desire has not reached fruition-but there are seeds of it in every moment. That is the power of evolution, and a blessed journey it is. May you live life on purpose, with purpose, as well.