WISDOM WITHIN - October 2018
Free Yourself from “The Judge”
By Suzette Scholtes
I met with an executive the other day for the first time. I shared that my work is teaching yoga. His look and body language altered the conversation. The frozen smile could not mask his arrogance and superiority. He may as well have said to me, “So where exactly do you wait tables?”
Not that there is anything wrong with waiting tables! (see here it is easy to slip into a judgment.) Yoga teaches us to watch the nature of our thoughts, feelings, and the power of our choices. I speak often how important this is. If we find ourselves being harsh or unkind to ourselves, learn to “flip the switch.” One way to flip the switch is to feel gratitude for the good we have or to remember the love.
Judging self or others is not the same as discernment. While judgment can be destructive, discernment is still needed to live from a place of wisdom and choice. If you are at the grocery and see apples shiny and red or apples brown and rotting, which do you choose to buy?
Often judging others is hiding some unconscious need to feel superior, yet the persons passing out the judgment have no clue. In their heads, they are golden. I would suggest, but it is subjective, that people who judge harshly may have issues with self-trust or trusting others. Or they are so full of themselves, they have to bull-doze their opinion around like those big SUVs that dominate the highway.
Each of us have the right to think and choose to make our decisions based on our assessments, our boundaries, our beliefs, and hopefully, “to cause no harm.” We need to discern what and who we want to take on, what is safe, who we should or shouldn’t trust, who we wish to share and care about, etc.
When I learned to let go of judging myself, many wonderful things started to shift for me for the better. I became less apt to get down on myself in any way when I let that old pattern go. I would realize that this “tension” was not really coming from me but being projected by the other person. Then I made the choice to pull away, forgive myself and them for this fast judgment. The key I find is to forgive myself for getting caught up with them in the first place and then to really use discernment in what I wish to share with them. Even though this takes away from a true level of intimacy, it serves as a shield of protection.
Now to be clear on the difference of judgment and discernment. Being judgmental comes from the “I am right; you are wrong mindset.” As for discernment, this skill is used when we choose to make an informed decision from an objective point of view. We use our integrity (being moment-to-moment responsible) to honor ourselves and others, trusting our inner voice/intuition more through love than fear.
At some level, we are all moving into a higher vibration of awareness, especially readers of Evolving Magazine. Discernment is a higher vibrational tool. Discernment is the act of making choices based upon the amount of love in our hearts. Where there is love, there is no room for judgment.
Another tool is to release attachments to your old belief systems, especially those which were handed down to you by parents or institutions. When daily life becomes more fulfilling and we experience some degree of joy and passion, we know we are in the flow with the world around us.
If we free ourselves from judging ourselves and others, we live in love more than fear and celebrate the joy of self-trust ever more. You truly help raise the consciousness of others just by your presence. What a gift you are as you open the doors to more intimacy of love and caring!
Suzette Scholtes’ non-fiction writing won the prestigious “Writers Digest” award. Her passions are writing and yoga and she feels one needs a sense of humor for both. She founded The Yoga School of Therapeutics where she manages one of the regions prestige teacher training programs. 10400 W. 103rd Street,