WISDOM WITHIN - February 2018 - Kansas City

The Promise of Love

By Suzette Scholtes

 

One of my best friends some time ago fell in love with a chef at the nursing facility where they worked.  The love between them was so obvious to witness. They adored one another, laughing constantly and having a lot of fun no matter what they were doing.

 

This good friend and I had traveled the country, training in spiritual studies. We always shared a room and, with all that time together, spent many hours visiting about our lives and our dreams. We are still best of friends to this day.

 

She moved in with her beloved for a few happy years. Then something fell apart. His kids were not fond of her. He asked her to leave. They quit speaking to one another. Broken hearted, she asked me if there might be a chance they would get back together. I said, “As much as you loved one another, I feel it may be possible. Let the universe support you in all ways.”

 

She went on with her life and did her best to heal her wounded heart. They did not speak for years. Then one day she called him. He had moved to Florida. They started to share conversations every weekend. After about two years of this routine, they healed much of the pain that had gone down between them. One fine day before Christmas a couple of years ago they were visiting on Facetime.  He got down on his knee and displayed a ring he had bought for her and asked for her hand in marriage.  They married soon after and have been living the happy-ever-after dream for the past two years.

 

The best part of this story is their wonderful compatibility and the good times they create together. Hardly a cross word is ever spoken. His kids have grown and moved away. They cherish their time together and make it work in every way. I love a good love story that works out in the end!

 

In this February month of love, especially, I observe my thoughts without judging. What lights up love? What goes to the weight of fear or worry? This act of being mindful empowers all of us to stay awake to the conscious or unconscious power of our thoughts.

 

We all experience pain. We all work our way through difficult situations. Sometimes during the “heavy” times of life many are unable to cope. We suppress. Therapists claim these feelings stay in our muscles, stomach, midriff, even our auras. How do we become calm and quiet and courageous enough to feel then release and heal? What breaks the promise of love?

• ignoring feelings

• denial of the situation/event

• over eating or drinking

• using recreational drugs

• exercising compulsively

• constant intellectualizing or analyzing

• excessive television watching

• excessive work

• hiding anger/emotions under the mask of peace or love

    

On the positive side, Psychology Today published the “pluses” of a good relationship. The article begins by stating that relationships that work are worked on. Other tips:

Communication: Be able to share emotional, mental, physical and spiritual aspect of your life without feeling judged or devalued.

Acknowledgement: Just saying “thank you” helps share your appreciation you are grateful for one another’s actions and support. Look for positive energy in one another.

Interdependence: Being interdependent means being involved with each other in a supportive manner without compromising your values or sacrificing yourself for the relationship.

Have Fun: Being playful keeps your love growing. When you smile, it creates chemicals like oxytocin (the love hormone) and brings you closer.

Acceptance: Truth is acceptance is one of the key energies of 2018.

Giving: Giving without measure is another key.

Honesty: Be 100 percent honest with yourself and “mindfully” honest with others. We may speak our truth without being harsh.